who am I

am i living for myself or living for the sake of others expectation??
am i making choices according to my liking or others?
am i acting according how i wish to or how d norm shud be?
am i going out like i really wanted or jz plainly do not wanna disappoint others?
not emo-ing..jz wondering..coz feels myself is working up myself more to others expectation more than wat i really wanna act..i'm starting to act like how others expected me to do so..i'm thinking too much for others..thinking too much on family and frens..troubling myself over matters tat i can jz ignore..

well..another one is you...
hey man..u make me sudd think m i a good fren??or there is always other ways for me to reminisce you jz a lil diff like d others did..i do think of you sometimes when it hits d memory where we cross path..i do think of you coz you are once so close to me..i do think of you coz you are part of the string tat pulled me n him 2gtr..i do rmb your cynical smile after doing bad stuff..i do rmb you whenever i look through picx..i rmb d nights we spent for studies..
BUT..
i start to feel d diff way missing you jz like the others..i start to lose commitment like how dey did..but deep dwn..i noe you are still der..you are a buddy tat hit hard on my friendship list..not coz of wat u jz did but for wat u had did all along for how long i knew you..jz wanna say d diff way of it start making me isolating myself from who i shud b wif..